I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
