one two three fourrrrnication!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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