you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I still have a little drunk in my system
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
