please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
