His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
