By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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