I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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