i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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