All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
