I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
