Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize