it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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