someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
