the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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