I'm lost and stupid without you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
