I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
