Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
