hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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