I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
the raccoons are back...
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