IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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