Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
