Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
