The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
