i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
