is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
