no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
