I just made out with a guy for $7.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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