I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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