I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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