it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
