I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
