She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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