I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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