I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
