UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
