i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
