some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
