everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
