I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my being single is dangerous.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
