god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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