I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
