mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
