i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
