i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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