What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize