I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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