A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
try to milk me bitch
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