why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize