I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
