uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
did i walk over a car last night?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
