Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Panties = found
Randomize
