Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
