What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
