He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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