im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
