Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
