I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
